Pump UPdate

Forget Robbie, forget football, forget ice, forget Disneyland, forget taco doritoes, forget facebook, and yes, even forget peanut butter bars. I have a new love in my life -

I think this pretty much sums up how things are going at the Poll house. Keeping our fingers crossed...

Pump It Up

When I start getting too grateful for things, bad things usually happen so I won't say how happy I am that Brooks got his insulin pump yesterday. I'll neglect to mention how cool it is that he's been going about his climbing, jumping, wrestling, pretzeling, and etcetera as usual. He doesn't know it's there most of the time but found a dollar bill at the theater last night and figured a way to stick it in the pump holster - he's been selling it as a money holder and insulin device ever since. I'm slightly afraid of other creative ideas he may come up with but at least he's excited about it.

Brooks is still on the saline trial of the pump and we'll start sending insulin through on Monday. High five to whoever came up with the saline idea, it gives us a chance to practice and get to know the pump before he gets the real deal. If all goes as planned, he will only have 5 more shots, hoorah & hooray! We will have to move the pump site around every 3 days but he didn't even feel his first one yesterday. I didn't think Brooksie would appreciate me putting a pic of his tush on the blog so in case you can't picture it, this is what it looks like.
We can detach the tubing for sports and bathing at the little plastic circle area. This way when we're ready to reattach, he doesn't have to get a new site. It's pretty near the damn coolest thing I've seen in a long time, but you didn't hear that from me. Brooks picked a Utah Jazz skin so the pump looks something like a pager or cell phone. I think it makes him feel trendy or important, as it should. I'll regret to add that I'm anticipating great things from this pump. I'll be able to oblige to his snack requests at the touch of a button instead of pinches and pricks - it's ok if you are totally picturing Steve and I singing hallelujah at the moment.
I'll update on the progress once the insulin starts flowing. Until then, peace out y'all.

Reluctant Goodbye

It is with deep regret and sorrow that I write this post. My beloved Broncos made a monumental mistake today by trading Jay Cutler. I knew it was going to happen but the preparation did not ease the pain. I told Jeff that I wouldn't be attending a Broncos game this year without Cutler on the trigger. He said that I'm a Broncos fan before a Cutler fan. I told him this is true and because I'm a Broncos fan first, I know that the best thing for the team was to keep Jay Cutler. I will watch my team with a heavy heart this season, but I refuse to go to Colorado this year in protest.
I've been saying goodbye in my head all day to the pattern of the book Goodnight Moon, so I'll share what I see for the next few years of Denver football.

Goodbye season, goodbye reason.

Goodbye hope and hello mope.

Goodbye scrambles, hello shambles.

Goodbye good sense and goodbye offense.

Goodbye wins, goodbye grins.

Goodbye promise, goodbye goals, and goodbye visions of superbowls.

Goodbye completions, goodbye guns, and goodbye to sweet quarterback runs.

Goodbye schemes, goodbye dreams.

Goodbye drop backs and hello sacks.

Goodbye array, and goodbye Jay :(

We'll miss Jay being in the right color orange. He is a talented athlete and a great force for Type I diabetes. We wish him lots of wins and will remain big fans.

Twilight Before Christmas

I wish I would've seen this at Christmas time because it really makes me laugh. Aleesha and fam came over to watch Twilight last night and she couldn't stop laughing during the meadow scene because she kept thinking of this spoof. I've been hearing it in my head all day as a result. This actress does a perfect Kristen Stewart. Fun-ny stuff!

51 Weeks til Six Now

The glorious day came one week ago today - Brooksie finally turned five! He anxiously awaited turning five because that's Carlos Boozer's number and he's eager to start kindergarten in the fall. He's already asking how long until his next birthday :)
Tug's especially glad that Brooks turned five as well. With age comes maturity, and with maturity comes less torture. Luke slept over before we headed to Toad's Fun Zone. I love taking pictures of their sleepovers because they look so sweet and yet miserably uncomfortable at the same time.
Brooks also started swimming lessons this month. I wanted to get pictures of him in his new Mario Galaxy swim trunks because he was SOOOO excited when Val gave them to him. I couldn't get a good shot of them because he kept saying, "Mom, take one of me like this," as his body pretzeled the bar in such a manner that if he fell, his head would crack into two on the concrete. But I'm trying to loosen up. He started off to the park with MaryAnn and Keaton last week and I remembered that he didn't have sunscreen on his face. I was going to chase them down, but then I told myself that he'd be okay without sunscreen for an hour. It's hard not being uptight about things but I'm taking baby steps for my baby, because I know it's no picnic to constantly be stopped or chased around by glucose patrol. He asked me later if he could have some more cake and I hesitated, but then thought, "Who doesn't get to have as much cake on their birthday as they want?" So he ate and took the insulin like a soldier in the rough...again. It's your birthday Sweet Boy, and you're five, and you're the toughest little kid this side of the Rockies, and though I didn't see the battle we were going to have to fight, I would sooner die than ever give you back.

Flashback Friday and Better Times

It was Trav's last day of chemo and radiation almost exactly a year ago. We didn't plan it this way, but it happened to be the same night as Matchbox Twenty in Salt Lake. We bought the tickets months before we knew Travis' treatment schedule. We all had a great time that night. I stood, danced, and sang for every song. Kari danced through most of the songs with me but she sat for a couple numbers as well. I stood alone for a bit and then Trav stood up with me. I'll never know if it was because he was embarrassed that I was dancing by myself or if it's because he was feeling the groove, but the point is simply that he was here. Trav was fun, he always said little funny things and spoke with a soft, comforting voice. I remember being worried about him in the middle of the concert, I turned and asked him on a scale of 1 to 10 how good he was feeling. I can still hear his voice say, "Oh about a seven," and he nodded with content. I'd hoped he wasn't lying just so I would have a good time and not stress about him. Trav was like that.

Now twelve months later I'm writing Trav was instead of is and I'm crying about it. On that particular night, I thought we had many more years of doing things with Kari & Trav. I really thought he was going to lick the stupid cancer. Up to that point, everything looked positive and seemed to be going his way. Travis was never to sold on cruising the ocean but he'd changed his mind and we even considered the four of us going on a cruise in the fall or sometime this year. I know we would've had a good time doing that too, but it was not to be. I am finding myself thinking alot about Trav again and remembering. Trav thought we might forget him, but he was wrong. The best are not forgotten.

I'm posting videos that Lyndee took the night of our concert in hopes that I won't be sad when I think about him. I'll try to think about the smiles and laughs we had and how Trav said those were the best seats he's ever had at a concert. We were right in front of the blocks that Rob Thomas is standing on, doing his melting heartpat. The second video shows one of the quicker times that Rob pointed at us. Trav later told Karianne that we were fooling ourselves because Rob was only pointing at him. We sure miss you Trav.

Thank You Mr. President

I normally don't like the news, but today I loved it. President Obama lifted the ban of government funding on stem cell research. If I ever meet this great man, I will hug him with all my strength and thank him for acting so quickly on an issue that directly affects my son's life.

Most of you probably understand embryonic stem cell research, but in case you don't, let me try to educate a bit. Most embryonic stem cells are taken from fertility labs, NOT aborted babies. Embryonic stem cells are fertilized eggs that have NOT been planted in a uterus, therefore they do not advance to human life. Also, the likelihood of them becoming human life even after transplantation are rare because in-vitro has a below average success rate. In any case, embryonic stem cell eggs are never transplanted to a woman and are simply thrown to garbage when couples decide they don't want them anymore. There are adult and other types of stem cells that science uses as well, but the embryonic ones provide the best results because they are capable of more cell division and alot of scholarly stuff that I don't completely understand (Erin, you may correct me if I'm wrong here.)

So what does all this mean to me? Everything. If Brooks has an opportunity to have diabetes for 5 or 10 less years in his lifetime, it means everything to me. Type I diabetics and those with spinal cord injuries have the most to gain from stem cell research because these diseases are organ-specific and have shown the most promising results. Every Type I diabetic has a damaged Pancreas that no longer produces insulin and stem cell research has shown the strong possibility of reversing the damage by replacing or altering the impaired cells. Positive studies also been shown for Parkinson's and other diseases.

If you don't agree with me, that's fine. As Americans, we are entitled to our own opinions, but this is my blog and until you've had to give your child 4 to 5 shots a day, prick his finger twice that much, and tell him that he can't have a root beer or a piece of candy or a handful of goldfish crackers or ANY of the other wonderful things that most of us eat and feed our children at leisure, then it might be difficult to imagine just how much this means to my family. Yes, Brooks can eat all those things, he just has to provide a blood sample and another body part in which to give a shot first. Then we'll top that off with the fact that the required amount of insulin changes from day to day. I'll give him the same amount of insulin for the exact same meal one morning, and he'll do great, but other mornings, he'll go low or his bloodsugar will shoot up higher!!!!! Steve and I are daily glucose puzzle solvers. It's complicated detective work that no parent enjoys, but more important, that no child should have to go through.

That being said, I welcome encouraging comments or input, but this is a subject that I do not care to debate about. I will delete negative comments immediately because I am a Mom and because I said so! I would also like to add that I love cheerful and optimistic stories about others with Type I diabetes but if you have a tale of someone losing their eyesight, amputating a limb, dying of insulin shock, going comatose from DKA, and any of the like, please keep it in your vault. I've already heard it and wished I didn't several times over. I know numerous people don't understand but all of these things are uncontrolled diabetes and most can't occur unless it's mismanaged for many, many years. If you think your story may cause me worry, then I assure you that it will. I've already concluded that this diagnosis will take 20 years off my life and I certainly don't need reason to add more years onto the list. I'll consider it a miracle if I live to 60.

I may have had a chance to breathe a few more years but thanks to Bush, progress in the way of a diabetes cure was abruptly halted for 8 years. January 20th was a blessed day indeed. Thank you President Obama for recognizing, mentioning, and caring about children with Type I diabetes. Thank you for changing things and bringing hope back into my family's life, your letter is on the way, and I couldn't be more grateful that you're my president.