~♥~♥~♥~♥~

We lost you 16 years ago today. There are times when it feels like yesterday and other moments when it seems so long ago that I have to plead with my memory to hear your voice exactly as it was. There are so many things you provided for me in my life that I don't know where to begin, but you and Gram were always such a positive constant so I owe it to you and to our family to try and put into words all that you meant and still mean to us.

I'll try to get this right...you were born Rafael Carpio, the sixth of nine children to Mexican immigrants in Gill, Colorado. You are on the left in side photo in the striped sweater. You were the best looking of all your siblings. Sorry Tio Lupe, but he was. I don't know if anyone ever used your given Spanish name because I only ever heard others call you Ralph. Your family made ends meet by farming, alot of veggies that I don't remember right now but you were a very, very hard worker and a dedicated son and brother.
You enlisted in the Navy in 1942 at 20 years old. You sent most of your money home to support your family and the farm. You served on the USS MISSISSIPPI and your ship was hit during WWII. You rarely spoke of this tragedy but told me a little when I was doing an essay on veterans in Jr. High. You told me that it was one of the hardest things you ever went through because you saw some of your shipmates suffer and die when the ship was attacked. I told you that I couldn't believe you'd never told me this before and you replied that you tried to block as much out as possible. Tio Lupe told me that Great-Grandma heard of the attack in the newspaper and nearly worried herself to the grave until they heard from you.

You have alot of photos with this guy and some are labeled with Coop from Arkansas so I imagine you were good maties. As I go through your pictures, I have so many more questions to ask you and that just makes me more mad that you're gone. It wasn't fair that you went so early. A young 70 years old. I often see others with their Grandpas who are 85-90 years old and I honestly feel cheated. Two more years of life and you would've met Steven. Seven more years and you would've held Emma who we named after the love of your life . I know you smile about that one in heaven Gramps. You would've loved Brooks' swing and going to Steve's games. I listen to him and Tio Lupe talk baseball and it makes me sad that you're not here to take part.

I couldn't decide which Navy pictures to post so I just did most of them. I love all of them and I am proud of your service to our country.
I wonder if you ever tortured Coop & crew by making them watch you eat a jar of hot chili peppers. You ate those like I eat brownies and I can't imagine the degree temp of your tongue since one very vivid memory is of sweat pouring off your forehead when you did that.

One of my personal faves!

Here you are in the light shirt. Thanks for that naturally curly hair gene. Oh, and the the Carpio curse too, big hips and thighs!
You couldn't give me any of the tinted skin. Nope I got the wetto inheritance on that one. Everyone knows that tan fat is better than white fat. I got the two evils on each side, dang.
If anyone's wondering, it's because of the handsome man on the right that we LOVE the Broncos and all things Colorado for that matter.

Sorry blog readers but I'm turning this into a book at year's end and I just had to include all his pics because I love them. Extremely proud Grandaughter here!

So then comes my favorite part. You were stationed in San Francisco and that's where you met the beautiful Emma Martinez, also known as my Grandma. She went with some friends to the movie and so did you. Each of your friends took off, on purpose, and left you two alone. Thank you amigas! It would prove to be a match of all time. Your love and devotion to each other stands as possibly the greatest example anyone has given me.

You never failed to tell us how much you loved Grandma. I remember you calling us into the room,

"Angie, come here a minute will ya?" you'd say.

So I halt building the umpteenth world's tallest lego house and come into the kitchen only to hear.

"Look at your Grandma, isn't she pretty?"

"Yes Gramp," as I roll my eyes and think, "Is this really what you called me in for?"

Just another one of my personal faves. That's Karianne on the horse in front. I imagine immediately after this picture was taken, you took Gram and danced around the living room with her like always. I used to love coming home from mass and turning on the spanish music so the two of you could dance in the kitchen or the front room. I'd probably give my left arm to see that again, honestly.

Sometimes when I'm missing you, I turn on that same music and go back. One day my Emma said, "Mom, can we turn on the radio and can you not turn it to the one kind that I don't understand the words?"

I imagine one far off day, when she's missing me, she'll turn on the same music because it will remind her of when I needed it on to remind me of you.

I never realized how serious you looked in photos until now. I wish I could ask you if you didn't like your smile because you were not as straight-faced as it appears. One of my other vivid recollections is that smile you'd give while you scrunched your shoulders. The cousins know the one I speak of. Like when it'd be our 12th birthday and you ask, "How old are you today sweetheart, 6 years?" That one never got old Gramps. I can't even begin to describe how much I miss your morning 'Happy Birthday' song every year either. Another thing that I beg for my memory to retain! btw, Karianne and I are the cute girlies in this pic.

You and Gram with me. I only had to choose from a million pictures of you or her holding me and/or the other cousins. It's no mystery why I was so attached. For those who don't know, I lived with my Grandparents for a few years. My mom worked full-time and was a single parent so my Grandparents helped her out alot. Gram watched all us kids while Mom worked and then as I started school they didn't want me to have a hectic schedule so it was agreed that I would stay with them until first grade.

Each year my grandparents and myself would find excuses as to why I needed to stay and I didn't go back full-time with my parents until I was nine. I loved my mom but please understand, I was...well, spoiled if you will by the said grandparents.

Gramps, you are holding a baby or toddler (me in this one) in nearly every picture and it makes my heart ache to think that my children will never know the sweet comfort of your lap or hear your

repeated requests for a "big strong hug to show you how strong they are."
I guess that also means they won't have to remove your shoes and sweaty socks after a long day at work either! I'm sure all cousins will attest to laughing and pointing at the one you chose to perform this pleasurable task.

That's probably what we deserved after we combed and fancied your hair into baby curls and sumo ponies for so many years.

Val or "Valley" as you called her will, no doubt, choke me for posting this picture but there's nothing like poetic justice for the "hole in the wall" right Manita? This is us in San Francisco. Remember when she asked to go down Polk? Thanks for that memory Hermana y Gramps y Tio Ross.

This is also the typical picture. We're surrounding you and Gram as usual. I'm leaning in your lap not looking while Lyndee's crying in your arms because she's probably been away from Mom for more than 30 seconds. So cute because Val is kissing Grandma's cheek. I will never understand how you took all of us on so many trips together. I realize we didn't have carseats and didn't wear belts but we also weren't in a minivan. The impala held many a kid.

I couldn't talk about the road trips and not put a picture of the tunnels you'd honk all the way through on. Gramps gave a whole new meaning to laying on the horn. Now I make Steven do it. He made the mistake of stopping halfway through once, not sure his hearing ever returned 100% after that.

My first holy communion with you stalwarts. Thanks for your unwavoring faith and commitment Gramp. I will forever remember your last days here with us and Gram told us how you looked her in the face and said strongly, "I'm not afraid to die." You went on to tell her how you had faith in God's eternal plan and added that you'd always love her. Your faith made it slightly easier for us to let you go and it strengthens my testimony of the life we'll enter next.

Your loyalty and value to family did not go unlearned. Thanks for taking me with you to Gill every year so I could know my Tia's and Tio's so well.

I am so thankful to still have Tio Lupe (in blue shirt) around to tell me stories about you and other happenings in Gill. He also has your hands, just bigger and longer, but enough the same that I can hold them once a year and have you with me once again.

I could always count on your phone call after you checked the honor roll every quarter and I was overjoyed to see your pride when I got a scholarship to Utah State. You were so smart and wanted us to be successful too. I think you'd be proud of all of us Gramps.

Don't think I'll forget the time I was in high school when we pulled beside a booming & thumping car- you looked at me with a side smile and said, "He ain't got nothin" and you turned up the a.m. so loud that the impala's speakers were never the same again. You showed him Gramps!

Ralph and Emma Carpio, my loving, loving Grandma and Grandpa.

Duane and Gramps in front of Disneyland. Thanks for the many trips and memories of magic! You started it all.

Swimming at the hotel. I'll save OUR fire alarm at midnight story for another day.

Seeing you and Gram glide across the floor as one, is hands down, something I miss the most. It was truely something beautiful, something wonderful, something whole - all that you were, and are. I try so very hard to not think of what Steve and my kids have missed out on these past 16 years. I try to be grateful for what I had and for the memories I hold dear, but envy creeps in every once in a while and I miss you something painful. Thank you for being the best Grandpa a girl could ask for. I love you always!

Steve was voted to coach the 5A all-star North team last weekend. He was voted in by all the other high school coaches which speaks words of it's own. For those not too baseball savvy, the hot corner is known as 3rd base, but as you can see, it's even hotter when my husband's the one coaching it!

The North won with an unbelievable comeback in the last innings. All coaching if you ask me.

Steven discussing plans to score with Dirk Barber. Dirk is a great kid who eats, drinks, and sleeps baseball. I hope I get to talk to his fiance (who he hasn't yet met) before they marry. I want her to understand what her future holds before she commits.
Below is a picture of the same two gents in action. When Dirk found out about "T", he bought livestrong bands for all the players and extras to sell. He gave the profits to T's family. He always wore his band and was wearing it this day as well. He covered it with tape so the umpires wouldn't make him take it off. Great baseball player but also a class act!

Steve, Dirk, Ricky, and Chad Smout who is the asst coach

Move over crackerjacks because Dippin' Dots are the new baseball snack. Gav and Coop came to the game with us. They are so fun to bring along because they love the game as much as we do, and they are really great kids to boot.

Steve's sophomore baseball picture. This is the Steven I first fell in love with, babyface and all. I met him when he was a junior. He was taller but his face was exactly the same. We went to different schools and met at work. Looking back now, it's no wonder I could never get him out of my mind.

Below is Steven's all-star baseball photo in 1990. The arrow points to him. He's so humble that he won't like me telling, but his batting average was an amazing .420. He was a hard worker and I think there's something to be said for that.

Next picture is Steve as the all-star coach 18 years later. You've come a long way Baby!

I know Steve will dearly miss coaching H.S. baseball, but lucky for my sluggers, they will continue to get the best:

Then and Later pics of Steve at the plate. I love his swing. After he took the head coach job, he didn't have time to coach and play so he gave up Fastpitch and has only gone to tourneys here and there. Now that Emma and Brooks are older, and he announced his recent retirement as head skipper for an administrative intern job, I hope him and his brothers start playing again. I know Steven would like nothing better than to share the lineup with "T" and Chad for a few more years. The sooner "T" recovers, the better!

I showed him this picture and told him I was going to put the caption as "Just a man and his dog". He threatened to divorce me if I did. If I thought he could ever really leave me, I wouldn't have added it, but we all know he can't live without me either. He'll never admit that he loves Tug, but I know he does simply because I do, and that's only one in a thousand reasons why Steven is the love of my life.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Dear Gramps,

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Ask and Ye Shall Receive

Friday, June 6, 2008

One Hot Corner

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

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