Love Without End

Trav used to read my blog. Whenever I wrote about Karianne, he would cry. One time I asked if writing about him made him cry, he said no, it was always the things I said about his wife that brought it on. One day Trav told Kari that he wasn't going to check blogs anymore because he was sick of being a boob, so I assumed he didn't read mine anymore. A couple weeks went by and Karianne told me something Trav said about my latest post. Confused, I told her that I thought he didn't check the blogs anymore. She said that he couldn't stay away. I don't know if angels cry, but if so, this one's for you Trav...

My family experienced one of the hardest things in our life today. We watched our dear Karianne kiss her husband goodbye for the last time on earth. We watched her life as she knew it change before our eyes. I wouldn't have minded being blind today.

I sat at the funeral and took it all in. I heard everyone talk about what a good guy Trav was, and that couldn't be more true, so I think Trav will appreciate me telling the rest of the story. Trav was also lucky in love- he found as good as person as he was to marry. Karianne is a loving wife and a dedicated mom. This past year required alot of juggling, patience, and selflessness. She pulled it off astonishly.

When Trav first started chemo, Karianne was doing it all. She went with him to treatments, made sure the kids had dinner and homework taken care of at home, and worked at the same time. She never failed to keep up on the kids' hair, doctor, and other appointments. She continued to take Syd to dance every week and carried double duties as a mother. She did have help but wanted to make sure their children weren't being neglected by her either. Many nights, Trav was sick from chemo, so caregiver was added to her list of responsibilities. I personally don't know if I could've handled it without acquiring a serious psychological disorder.

Later, Trav was in the hospital for months. She drove down to Salt Lake every day, spent all day with her hubby, and came home to take care of all the kids' activities. She even took Ashtin to the doctor for her back last Monday. To think of her schedule was draining. Now lets add that to the emotional stress of not knowing how Trav would fair, and it's unimaginable. Through all of it, Karianne remained positive and was still able to laugh and be appreciative of her life. She is stronger than I ever hope to be.

Everyone always talks about what a happy person Trav was. One of the last things he said was that he lived a good life because he had it all. Karianne was a big part of Trav's "all." He loved his girls AND Deej, AND he loved his wife very much. He appreciated all she did for him from the very beginning. Blending a family is hard and the first years of Kari & Trav's marriage took a little bit of work because he had his girls and Kari had DJ. They worked through the rough spots and evolved into a brilliant family. If you didn't know the situation, you would not have been able to tell who was the biological parent to which child. They each treated the 3 children the same. They are an exemplary ensemble. And btw, I love that special hand clap/shake Syd & DJ never stop doing lately!

Another thing I admire about Karianne, and I think Trav probably does too, is her spirituality. In addition to all the previous, Karianne taught Catechism every Saturday morning. "Big deal" all us mormons say cuz we all have our callings, but it's different in the catholic church because it is not like a calling. It's something you sign up for on your own. Nobody calls you into an office and asks you to accept it, you initiate your own service. The other thing Kari does is pick up all her nephews every Saturday morning to make sure they don't miss Catechism. She has made it a priority for Syd, Ash, & Deej along with other family members to gain a knowledge of our Savior and the important role that God plays in our life.

Through most of this trying year, Karianne succeeded at doing all of this on her own. She had trouble accepting help because she didn't want to burden others and she especially didn't want to be the cause of people's anguish. In Trav's last days, I texted her and told her how much I worried about her. She texted me back with an apology and was worried about me because my heart was breaking for her. I couldn't believe she told me sorry for that.

Watching Karianne & Trav's relationship evolve was a beautiful thing. They always laughed at each other and sometimes stayed in their own little world of just the two of them, even if they were surrounded by a big crowd. The cutest story was on Travis' memory post when the "spare" bowler said Trav never took his eyes off Karianne. That was them. They were constantly aware of where the other was and got anxious if they were apart for too long. I know many people see things better than they really were after someone has passed away, but it's not the case here. Kari & Trav's love for each other is obvious to even a stranger's eye. During Trav's latest stay in the hospital, his attachment to her swelled. He was much more relaxed and comfortable when she was with him.

One of the most fascinating things I've ever heard was during Trav's last moments. We all just couldn't imagine her watching him like that for much longer, it was taking a physical toll on everything about her. But that didn't matter to her and she sweetly told him to take as long as he needed.

Kari, I just want to tell you that I love you. You are an example of strength and courage in the truest sense. You are an amazing mom, step-mom, and wife. Val recited a Dr. Seuss quote in her speech today that goes, "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened." I think I speak for our whole family and all your friends when I say, we're glad you both happened.