Reasons Why I'm Not Blogging

1.

2. I used to loathe video games, so how is it that my rump is sore, my fingers are cramped, and I cannot pull myself away? I am only posting to give the kids a turn. Finally, Santa brought something for Santa!

Merry for who?

I used to be the type of Christmas nut that drove everybody crazy cuz I'd pull out the holiday music before Halloween. My favorite song of all time was We Need a Little Christmas by Johnny Mathis. My children would decorate the tree, and as soon as they went to bed, I'd rearrange the ornaments so they hung in a neat and patterned fashion. I didn't do that this year. The unbalanced bulbs didn't make me mental like usual. Its hard to believe that I have been known to throw Christmas in July parties a time or two. Yep, I'd get the tree out and everything.

So in comes yule 2008 and I can't get Hard Candy Christmas out of my head. Ol' Dolly is a lyrical genius as far as I'm concerned. I no longer see what's fun about running from store to store or baking for this, that, and the other. I finally slapped myself across the face and realized that my kids will survive if they don't get Mario Kart and it's no big deal if I get nothing original for my dad. I mean really, there's no rule that says he can't have a different nascar shirt for every day of the year.

It hasn't helped that I'm holding onto a virus that I'm convinced has to be somewhat of a sister to the bird flu. I coughed so hard that I pulled a muscle around my middle ribcage. It hurt to even breathe. I can't remember the last time I called in sick to work because I was the one who was sick, but I've called in two different days in three weeks time. At least the Halls and Ricola assembly line workers don't have to worry about losing their jobs now. I've bought enough throat drops to keep them working for several more years.

On Thursday, I made a big mistake by presuming I could be amongst others without inadvertently hawking my left lung at them. I went to Walmart to catch up on shopping and in true Sam Walton tradition, they still had one checker running the show. Honestly??? It's Christmas for bells sake. Would it be so difficult to teach the floor waxer/wannabe zamboni driver to jump on a register once the line hits neverending?

Lucky for me, we're also getting a white Christmas, meaning that my kitchen floor needs constant wiping (which I neglect) and I am once again regretting not going into debt for a garage addition. No need to fear as my children are keeping things jolly around here despite my grinchitis. Brooksie just couldn't wait to give me this gingerbread necklace he made me at school. I've been wearing it nonstop because it reminds what the season is all about.

Albeit improving, I can't help but wonder if a little Edward wouldn't help me shake this :)

How to NOT harm a child

1. Breathe
2. Close your eyes
3. Say one Hail Mary in your head or if you didn't grow up Catholic, sing I am a child of God
4. Ask his reasoning for twining the gum about his hair and neck
5. Listen without judgement
6. Remind yourself that it was you who gave him the pack of gum
7. Ask him whose side he's on today. Smile when, as usual, he'll say Mommy's and not Daddy's
8. Remember the day he was born
9. DON'T remember waking up at 3am this morning with his feet in your forehead and wondering when he managed to sneak in
10. Tell yourself that it will be easy to snipp off the gum-entangled hair behind the ear
11. Think of the time when you cut off one of your neighbor's long braids while playing salon
12. Ask him who your sweet boy is
13. Don't think about how difficult it is to remove the gum as he whips his neck from side to side while simultaneously kicking the hell out of your legs
14. Reflect back a few weeks when you asked him if Daddy had already helped him brush his teeth and he said, "Yes, but don't ask him ok?"
15. Convince yourself that he wouldn't do these sort of things if his bloodsugar weren't fluctuant
16. Don't think about preschool starting in 3 minutes
17. Think about how he calls his blood "sugarblood", can he really know how sweet that is?
18. Hug him and tell him how much you love him because you know life would be boring without him
19. Praise yourself for subtlety answering any questions others may have about last year's Christmas card (refer to former post)
20. Blog

Self Explanatory Christmas Card

Last year's Christmas card. This one seems to be everyone else's favorite. Happy Christmas to all!

Battle Post for "T"

To T: If you ever think you can't take anymore, think of the brotherly battles in raquetball, b-ball, and ping pong when it looked like there was no way you could come back, but YOU DID anyway!
Think of all the schooling you and the brutha have put your wives through. I think you guys got masters degrees just so it was official that you were smarter than us. It's just a piece paper.

You'll think of your kids and Mandy first, but then think about T buddy. Who knew you would both have to be so tough? He needs your example of strength for the next 30 years or more.

Think of your hexing. Okay, I honestly have no idea what you're doing here and though I find it a bit creepy, it just may work.

Think of your brother whom you like to call Ste'en. Only you could talk him into Zorrodales, unfortunate for all of us as it is.

Think of the many more new years we all want to ring in with you, but especially me and Carrie cuz sometimes you join in and act stupid with us.

In all serious now, remember that WE LOVE YOU! You have stepped up to the plate more than most, and once again, you have all sorts of pitches coming at you. You battle T like we know you can, like we've seen you do a thousand times. We don't plan on having any fun without you!

Memoirs of a Christmas Card

My precious babies in 2004. Off all the cards we've sent, this is my absolute favorite. Merry Christmas everyone!

Marlow Vernon Poll

Sept. 30, 1917 ~ Nov. 24, 2008

Grandpa Mike always made me feel like one of his very own. I will miss him saying, "You come back again sis."

Even though its been a little while since he's been able to pillow fight, Emma will never forget all the battles they had together. He took many a nitroglycerin when the pillow wars were over.
Four generations of good men- Sweet Grandpa holding my Sweet Boy-

We'll desperately miss Grandpa asking Emma & Brooks if he can have Tug. He was providing laughs to the very end.
Grandpa, give Lana & Kent a hug from us. Hopefully you'll also get to meet Trav, you will like each other. We love you and we will miss your repeated stories. I will personally miss being minus one strong democrat in the family. God be with you until we meet again...